When I was 13 years old, I told my friend Wes that when I grew up, I wanted to be a helicopter pilot. As the years went on things started to change and I began feeling a build up of anxiety about flying. The fear eventually became so acute I would throw-up before boarding an airplane. The tipping point occurred on a US Air flight from Pittsburgh to St Louis. The plane had to make an emergency landing after smoke entered the cabin. It was dramatic, including the flight attendants jumping out of their seats, smoke in the air, bathroom smoke alarms going off, a hard bank to the right and emergency trucks chasing us down the runway. We landed safely but for me the damage had been done, my fear of flying moved from serious to uncontrollable.
Now, picture this, I am boarding another plane at Newark airport, with my extended family. We were bound for Disney World and 16 of us were scheduled for the flight. However, my brother’s family was late and we were waiting at the gate as they gave the last call, adding to my stress. Just as I thought we were not going to make it, they show up and we rushed into the plane, strollers and kids in tow. When we entered the wide body aircraft, everyone else had already been seated. The flight attendants informed us that our assigned seats had been given away and they pressed us to sit the randomly available seats that remained. The crew wanted to get off the gate but could not close the door until we were seated. We fanned out trying to get the children a seat first, some of whom were now crying (more stress). I was so full of anxiety by this point I just wanted to get off the plane. I started to look for my own seat and finding it sat down. I could feel myself trying not to be overwhelmed by the fear. A few minutes later we were rolling out for the take-off and I turned my head looking down the aisle. I saw my niece, little Stephanie, sitting several rows back, all alone, with tears rolling down her face. When I turned back I realized I had chosen a seat that was closer to the other members of her family. It was to late to give her my seat, we were taking off. I had been so focused on myself I missed an opportunity to help her. Curses!
It was at that moment I began to realize the extent that fear was affecting my life. I am better than this. If I continue this direction I will never be able to enjoy vacations or visit far away friends and family. What about business travel? These limitations were not going to work for me, not with what I had planned for my life. Enough.. something had to change. I would have to overcome my fear of flying, but how? What could I do ? The only thing I could think of was to move to the complete opposite side of the scale. I asked myself, who loves to fly? Pilots right? OK, then I will become a pilot.
My first lesson was at ABE airport in a Cessna 172. My instructor looked like he was 16 years old, not the gray haired captain I had imagined. A 737 landed while we waited to taxi onto the runway… yikes. He gave me the controls and it felt like he might as well have handed me a snake. I was ready to die. In the end I did not want to shake his hand because my sweaty palms would give me away. This was was torture, there had to be a better way.
I had heard about a modern day Amelia Earhart, her name is Kim Darst. I made contact with her, told her my story and she said, “I have something that might help.” Kim took me to her house and got on a tractor, and pulled out a MASH helicopter from the barn. Wow, cool, I sat in it and was immediately sold. I couldn’t help but love the experience. So, I came back again and again and again. The fear started to fade. I passed my first milestone, a solo flight. A tradition is the instructor cuts off the back of your shirt, writes the date on it and hangs it on the wall. I became a pilot that day and my fear of flying continued to dissipate.
Looking back, I realized that by facing my fear over and over again it became so small that I was no longer afraid. So, my experience tells me that if you want to get over your fears, you have to face them again and again and again until they go away or at least become tolerable. Two other family members who were also on the US Air flight with me and developed a fear of flying. One used Captain Tom’s audio program, the another went up in a private plane to gain confidence. As for me, I turned my fear into my passion. Check this out…. below is a video of my trip across America in my helicopter. My co-pilot (Rob Allen) and I left from Torrance California and flew back home to Allentown Pennsylvania. The video documents the flight up until Texas. I hope you enjoy it…
